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“The Innerworkings of Acceptance over Forgiveness” – By Bonnie & Souvereign

“The Innerworkings of Acceptance over Forgiveness” – By Bonnie & Souvereign


Forgiveness by Bonnie Rabbit

The way I have always heard people use the word forgiveness never resonated with me and I never agreed with their definition. I have had the opportunity to contemplate the idea of forgiveness through my own healing journey from the severe abuse I suffered as a child. I have come to the belief that other survivors have, which is that forgiveness is not a goal to be achieved, but rather an unintentional natural event that may or may not happen. It is not necessary to forgive the perpetrators that trespassed against us. The only person that must be forgiven in order to heal, is ourself. 

Then I watched this video of Souvereign’s speaking about forgiveness, and I have come to a new understanding about what this word means and what the process of forgiveness is. This new understanding has impacted me greatly. Using Souvereign’s words of wisdom on forgiveness, this is what I understood from him after watching his video.

People say ‘forgiveness’ is good for yourself, not the other person. Forgiving someone intellectually might work in the moment where freedom can be reclaimed, but if we practice this type of forgiveness a thousand times in our lives, we must consider if we are actually making use of the function of forgiveness to find that first one – that primary experience of trespass that impacted us.   Humans are the only Earthlings that can spend a lifetime staying in a frequency of not accepting that which happened, happened.

We only react emotionally to what others do because we (through our neurochemistry) recognize this new experience as similar to the primary experience that gets retriggered. The offense experience only repeats because they serve us with a purposeful function to remind us of the primary experience still in need of healing that has split off a part of us that is waiting to be brought home. We can then bring this part of self home and ask if it is willing to accept that what happened, happened. The freedom that was trampled upon before we were given harm can be returned to, and that original innocence gets restored and reclaimed.  

Going into the word “forgive” on a subconscious level means to move into a time an event happened where something was “given to us”, when a trespass happened. Before that which was given to us, we were still whole. Then we were given an infliction – trauma, abuse – and given a burden, an impact of what was forced into our reality.

Being willing to forgive is well misunderstood by many. For-given is really aimed at resolving that which was given to us. When looking at this word, it actually means ‘willing to go back to the place of before that which was given’. The word ‘forego’ is to let something go – to go to a place within ourselves where that which was given is moved to ‘before’. The process of forgiveness to wholeness does not only let go of that which was given and passed over, but also allows us to go back to that experience before it was harmed. That is the wholeness we can restore and what lies ahead of that. When we go through the process of forgiveness, we go to the impact point, in order to dissolve that impact and return to that state before we were impacted. The failure of ‘other’ is that the natural order in which we lived prior to impact was not upheld by our primary caretakers.  

When we are asked to ‘forgive’, or attempt to ‘forgive’ in the traditional sense – let go of – that which happened to us, we remove from that part of self that was trespassed, what little power it has to get it’s voice heard. This also removes the opportunity for that part of self to express their feelings about how they were impacted by that trespass. When we get to the point where we are approaching the possibility of being willing to accept the failure of the other who trespassed against us, we get the opportunity to really hear the emotional currency that resides underneath the impactful event.  

A person can intellectually choose to forgive another, but if that part of self is not a part of that conversation, freedom cannot be achieved. The internal relating needs to include asking that part of self if it feels willing to forgive what this primary person did, and accept that which happened, happened. Then the freedom that was trampled upon when we were trespassed against and given harm, can be returned to, and the original innocence gets restored and reclaimed.

The part of self may be willing to say “Yes, I want to come home and no longer be trapped in this experience/story of trespass” so that this part of self has the opportunity for reintegration and experience a rescripting of that entire story. When asked, the part of self may answer “Yes, I am willing to accept the failure of the primary trespasser – he, she, they – out of their own damage.” The answer may be “No, I’m not willing to accept it”. Then we can ask that part if it is willing to share why it is unwilling to accept what was done to you. At that point, the real essence of the subconsciously held story can be released of the unfairness, the wrong doing, the injustice that happened. When the answer is “Yes, I am willing to share why”, those potent feelings can be expressed. Then once these feelings are expressed, they are released. After never being allowed to be heard or fully received, feeling deeply seen and deeply held, the opportunity to finally be heard and feelings expressed, it is released. This inner power relates to this notion of forgiveness. Do you feel willing to forgive primary trespasser.

The acceptance of the failure is the forgiveness. We are then able to achieve our returning to the original state before the impact of the first trespass in a way that traditional ‘forgiveness’ cannot.  

Watch the video “The Innerworkings of Acceptance over Forgiveness” on the YouTube channel “Syntropy Wisdom Academy”: